an agent of the random (riyku) wrote,
an agent of the random

humankind cannot bear much reality

A very Happy New Year one and all.  I probably don't say it enough, but I absolutely adore having you guys around. Thank you, thank you, thank you, because every single day you make me smile or laugh or think (and often all three at the same time).  And there isn't a day that goes by that I'm not awed by your kindness and generosity, and by the sheer level of talent very freely shared.  You are amazing.  Each and every one of you.

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you'd predicted?
How do you predict these sorts of things, really?  Impossible from where I'm standing, but I suppose I can say that I wrote more than I thought I would, right on about 90k.  Down a bit from last year but I did spend a large chunk of the year finishing my dissertation, so there's that.  I had this sort of informal goal for myself, which was to finish and post at least one fic every month.  I only missed two, but in my defense I missed the month before my bigbang, and another before my minibang (which wasn't so mini), and there were other months that I posted two or more, so maybe that makes up for it.

Where did you publish/archive your stories?
Here mostly.  I am very happy to announce that I've finally managed to archive everything over at the AO3. Goal!  (I'm riyku over there as well, creatively).

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January 2012?
Anyone who has spent any time around these parts knows that I'm so fandom monogamous it's not even funny (if you consider SPN and J2 the same fandom) (which I basically do).  I did branch out slightly and to write Jared/Jensen/JDM/Misha vampire porn (the least of our sins), but even then, my J2 tendencies came through loud and clear.

What's your favorite story of the year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you happiest?
This is a tough one, so I'll just go with two.  Wipe the Clock (Sam/Dean, 2014'verse-ish).  Longest Sam/Dean story to date, and written in Dean's POV, which scared the hell outta me.  Don't know, guys.  There is this one part near the end that might just be my favorite thing that I've ever written for this fandom.  It's a tiny little thing, and wholly missable, but I love it.  The other is waiting on some beautiful boy, written very quickly for the silverbullets challenge, non-au future fic where they guys run into each other after a few years.  I just really love future fic. Totally self indulgent.  

Now, what's your most popular story?
Hmmm.  In terms of comment count, it has to be my bigbang, Tilting at Windmills, but I think that it's mostly because of the higher profile nature of that challenge.  In terms of immediate as well as somewhat lasting reaction, I'm Slowly Turning into You, (aka, my foray into knotting fic) which was an absolute blast to write.

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?
Last year I wrote, "Every time I hit the post button, I think I'm gonna die.  I'd call that a risk."  Turns out that still holds true.  I still get The Fear whenever I post and have to flee from the internet for a period of time, usually have to wait until flawlessglitch sends me an email to the effect of 'All clear--it's okay to look.'  But really, I have to thank  cherie_morte for unintentionally forcing me to go all out and write phone sex for her salt_burn_porn prompt.  

Aplenty. Last year, I told myself that I wouldn't sign up for as many challenges, and sorta ended up eating crow on that account: samdean_otp minibang spn_j2_xmas spn_j2_bigbang salt_burn_porn, silverbullets, and spnspringfling. I think that about covers it.

From my past year of writing, what was...

Best story
After the Sky Falls.  There's a story to this one, a long and circuitous thing and I'll not bore you with the details.  I rather like how this one turned out, even though I lost half of it and scrambled to get it finished--the fic's probably better for it.  Dunno.  The tone turned out the way I wanted it to, and that's something that rarely happens, and I'm pretty satisfied with the language of it and the rhythm.  (and lily, if you see this, I know.  I'm still not over it either.)  

Most under-appreciated by the universe
There's no good answer to this one.  I reckon the universe appreciates these here stories a-okay.  But really, I certainly appreciate all of them, or at least the accomplishment of getting them finished and posted.

Most fun
There were a couple that were fun to write.  Wake Up, which is little more than porn about Jensen's mouth, because, guys, have you seen his mouth?  And Additional Charges May Apply, even though writing the dirty talk scared me a little, but the process was fun, chatting with dugindeep until way past our bedtime, and the rush of hitting a very quick deadline.

Most disappointing
This one hits me like the above question re: under-appreciated stories.  There's no good answer.  

Story that could have been better
My answer from last year still applies:  All of them.  No.  I'm not kidding.  Every single fucking one of them.

Story that changed your own perception of the characters
I don't have a great answer for this one, since a lot of the things I write are AU, so I do a lot of building from scratch.  Having said that, I just got a comment on a fic pointing out that it was a tough sell to read Jared as a repressed, stoic type, and that sorta gave me pause, and realize that very rarely do I portray Jared in the fandom norm--as the enthusiastic, puppyish extrovert.  I always see him as someone more quiet in his day-to-day life. Hmmm.

Most sexy
I'm gonna go with Watch the Bed Burn.  Sam/Dean adrenaline fueled angry make-up sex.  Or maybe Closer, Sam/Dean docking fic.  It's less about the sex and more about the intimacy with that one.

Story with the sweetest moment
When Jensen is in Jared's kitchen and pulls out Dean's keychain in 
waiting on some beautiful boy, and tells Jared that he just had to keep it.  Or in I'm Slowly Turning into You when Jensen kisses Jared for the first time, and then that moment later, when Jared sees him for who he actually is. Or when Jensen tells Jared his real name in Additional Charges May Apply.  

Story that made you cry
Goddamnit, guys, I'm such a sap.  It's embarrassing, but I suppose I'll come clean.  Near the end of Tilting at Windmills, when Jensen says that he'll wait for Jared, that he'll never stop waiting.  And then again in Wipe the Clock, when Sam wonders why all of his birthday presents always used to come with warning labels.  Also while writing pretty much the entire last quarter of After the Sky Falls, for obvious reasons.

Hardest to write
There are quite a few repeats here, but I have to go with Tilting at Windmills, mostly because I had a broken hand at the time, and also Wipe the Clock, and that was primarily due to a number of deadlines crashing down on me all at once, and then a massive storm that blew through in the midst of my edits.  All of this is to say that rarely is writing easy for me.  That doesn't mean that it isn't fun and that I don't love doing it, because it is and I do.

Easiest to write
Winner Takes All.  Hands down.  There's another story behind this one:  It was written for springfling, due the same day that I posted my bigbang, which of course I was writing and running behind on and editing even after I posted the thing, as you do (and also keep in mind my hand was broken and casted, dear lord).  So I posted yonder bigbang, took another look at my springfling prompts and had absolutely no ideas whatsoever, and therefore took a nap (because I hadn't slept in days, really).  Woke up from yonder nap, had the quintessential lightbulb moment and wrote the story in about 45 minutes.  Why can't they all be like that?

"Holy crap, that's wrong, even for you" story
Eh.  I'll just go on record and say that there's no such thing as a story that's 'wrong, even for you.' If you feel like writing it, then write it.  It will make someone happy, and it will make you happy, and that's kinda the whole point. 

Most eye roll-worthy title
Additional Charges May Apply.  So silly.

Most intentionally telling
Tilting at Windmills.  It was as if I'd put all of my interests into one fic:  anthropology, academia, travel, ethnography, archaeology, history, books, books, books, and motherfucking dragons.  

After the Sky Falls, and this deals more with a story that I wrote years ago, a different version of the boys and how they've stuck with me for many, many years.

Most overdue
Eeeek!  A charity fic that I keep writing on, and this one cop fic that will be the fannish albatross that hangs around my neck. 

This year's theme and the story that demonstrates it most:
Guys, I have no idea.  Perhaps it's about the tangible pull between two people.  Something like gravity, or something inexorable like that.  Or maybe it's all about coming home.    

Favorite Opening Line(s):

"Maybe we can glamour him," Jared says. He leans over the small round table, fingers restless on the slender stem of his wine glass. It's for show, as is the untouched plate of fruit and cheese in the center.

"Something tells me you might not have to," Misha muses. His lips barely move as he speaks, but Jared can still see the slightest hint of his extended canine teeth. A white glint in the uneven lamplight.

Jeff stares across the galley at the object of Jared's attention, his expression falling just short of a leer. "Leave it to you to pick the cabin boy."
--the least of our sins

It’s a mistake at first.
--Additional Charges May Apply

Five minutes.  Jensen needed just five minutes.
--After the Sky Falls

Dean slams the trunk of the car and then slams into Sam, pushing them up against the side of the Impala.

--Winner Takes All

Favorite Closing Line(s):

“You don’t know what you’re asking,” Jared says.

“I’m not asking anything.  I’m telling you that I’ll be here.  I’ll wait for you.  I’ll always wait for you.”

“You won’t have to wait for long.  I promise.”
--Tilting at Windmills

The hectic, immediate need has moved on, replaced with a sort of low burn that thrums beneath the surface of Jared’s skin. Everything that is not Jensen feels very far away, the tangible, real universe of house and family existing in some other distant and unimportant orbit. The sole heir of the family fortune, now turned prodigal son.

“We can’t stay here,” Jared whispers.

“Don’t worry, Jared,” Jensen soothes him, brushing his stringy, damp hair off of his face. He rubs small circles on Jared’s skin, fingers spread wide and possessive on his lower belly. “The world’s a very big place. I’ll show you.”
--I'm Slowly Turning into You

Jensen has one foot on the pavement when Jared grabs him by the wrist, fingers in a loose grasp. “So,” Jared starts. “How much for a fuck?”

“There’s not enough money in the world,” Jensen tells him.

Jared smiles then, his grin so surprisingly bright and genuine that it sends a shock straight into Jensen’s core. “Good. I’m glad to hear it.”
--Four Corners

“Jensen,” Jared said low, hardly more than a shared thought. His face bore the mark of his pillow and he was still in his pajamas, bare toes curling against the cold. "Are you alright?" Jared asked, concern and happiness fighting a battle on his face.

“I’m much better now,” Jensen replied, stepped past the threshold and fetched Jared up in his arms. He buried his face in Jared’s hair and breathed in deep.

“You came back,” Jared said, a note of wonder to his voice, as if he couldn’t quite trust the reality of it.

“All this time, you’ve been waiting for someone to come home,” Jensen said, his mouth moving against the warm skin of Jared’s neck. “I thought it was about time that somebody finally did.”
--After the Sky Falls

Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the New Year?
Nothing specific, no.  Never really do.  I have an idea for bigbang, actually I have two, one of which is making my eyes roll, but I'm playing all that fairly close to the vest.  Posting a short fic for insmallpackages within a couple of days, in which there will be schmoop.  Missing blindfold like crazy.  I think that a lot of us do. 

Holy cow, that took a long time to post, and more importantly, I hope this finds you all very well and enjoying the first few days of the new year.  Thinking about hosting a commentfic fest in honor of it, a Let's Celebrate the New Year by Massively Getting Our Kink On kinda thing, but I've always been so afraid that no one would want to participate.  Thoughts, comments, suggestions very welcome on that front.

Cheers, all!
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