an agent of the random (riyku) wrote,
an agent of the random

visions and revisions

I'm doing that thing I do sometimes, where I post a story and then disappear for a period of time.  Sorry for that.  Time for some introspection, dear ones, in the form of the meme that's been making the rounds.  I've always loved reading what folks think about their writing, almost as much as reading the actual product.  Here I am, throwing my hat in the mix:

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you'd predicted?
Oh, god, loads more.  120k.  Don't think I slept much this past year, and I'm the slowest writer ever, much of the time.  Most of these words can be blamed on flawlessglitch.

Where did you publish/archive your stories?
Here and there?  Mostly here, but I'm trying to get better about backing stuff up at the AO3.  Which reminds me...

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January 2011?
I'm so pairing and fandom monogamous, it's not even funny.  I do have to admit that there was a certain shippy-ness to Jared, Jensen and Misha in Better than Moonshine, and I did write a little Jensen/Misha story for lily that I never posted.  

What's your favorite story of the year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you happiest?
Let's go with two, shall we?  First, Come Pick Me Up, a non-AU future fic written for blindfold, and I can't really point to an exact reason.  I like how it turned out, the melancholy longing and the shared history of it.  Plus, wall sex.  Sacrament runs neck and neck with it, mainly because of the sort of language that I used, and the accomplishment of writing a Sam/Dean fic that was more than a 2 or 3k long.

Now, what's your most popular story?
Crush, hands down, which had me scratching my head for a little, because it was one of those stories that just sorta flew out, easy as pie.  I wrote it and barely read it over, hit post and there it was.  I re-read it a month or so ago, and I think I get it a little better than I did before.  

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?
Hahahaha!  Every time I hit the post button, I think I'm gonna die.  I'd call that a risk.  But really, I've sorta dipped my finger into a lot of different tropes and ideas this year, and I learned that trying some new things isn't at all fatal.  I won't say that writing has become any easier--sometimes it is and sometimes it isn't, but posting has.  And now I think I've gone off on a tangent and not actually answered the question.  Huh.

Aplenty. I feel like if it had J2 or SPN (or god forbid, both) in the title, then I signed up for it. blindfold_spn, spn_cinema, spn_reversebang, samdean_otp minibang, spn_j2_xmas, spn_j2_bigbang, salt_burn_porn (twice on that one).

From my past year of writing, what was...

Best story
Six Hundred to Graceland.  As an aside, I love how folks doing this have been answering something different from their favorite story for this question.  Now, if I were to do this again a month from now, Graceland would probably also be my favorite.  Just finished it though, and I'm still stuck in that love/hate/empty nest period.  Anyway, it's got a good format, I rather think the pacing turned out well.  Dunno.  It just feels real to me.

Most under-appreciated by the universe
There really isn't a good answer to this question.  I tend to appreciate everything I write, or at least the accomplishment of getting it done.  That being said, a few of my Sam/Dean fics tend to get fewer comments, but that doesn't mean that folks don't appreciate them.
Most fun
Song and Dance, written very quickly for salt_burn_porn, and toeing the line of crackfic. On a more serious note, Yesterdays as well, which has more to do with the fun I had writing it than the story itself.  It was a gift, something I was writing for lily as I was taking breaks from my bigbang, so it occupies this carefree sorta space in my head (and in the long run, I think it might be a better story than my bigbang for exactly that reason).  

Most disappointing
This one hits me like the above question re: under-appreciated stories.  There's no good answer.  

Story that could have been better
All of them.  No.  I'm not kidding.  Every single fucking one of them.

Story that changed your own perception of the characters
Lets go with Sacrament again on this one.  Pulling Sam and Dean off of the highways and out of the Impala and tossing them into an alternate universe really made me chew on who they were as characters.  It forced me to essentialize them in a way that I never have before.  To that end, I don't know if it changed my perception of them so much as it forced me to define my perception of them.  

Most sexy
Oddly enough, I'm going with a story that's completely devoid of porn on this one.  Bizarre Love Triangle, and my opinion is so very informed by the characterization of Jensen here.  I love the look of him, kinda grunge, I love his taste in music and his blue hair and how much he loves Jared with all his heart.  And there are a few close, intimate moments where sex would be this extra, unnecessary thing (eg: the scene where Jensen is laying on his bed with Jared in his apartment, and the bit where he cleans up Jared's face, and the part where they throw coins under the wheels of the train).

Story with the sweetest moment
Jared and Jensen's first kiss in Crush.  That scene just sorta does it for me.  Or (and quite oppositely), the very end of Feral, where Jared gives Jensen his collection of buttons and bottle caps.  

Story that made you cry
God, this is embarrassing.  But if you can't come clean to your fandom friends, then who can you come clean to?  Back to Feral, when Jared takes a beating so that Jensen doesn't have to.  Jensen talking about the way Jared makes coffee during his rooftop confession in The Same Boy You've Always Known.  It's the little things, guys.  And Come Pick Me Up.  I wrote this one line near the end and burst into tears, clear outta nowhere.

Hardest to write
I feel like there are a lot of repeats in this list, but Sacrament.  First off, long Sam/Dean story for me, and I wanted to prove that I could pull it off, and these are characters we know and love so much, and I wanted to get the characterization just right...and...and...

Easiest to write
On the opposite end of the spectrum, another Sam/Dean fic.  An Absence of Violence.  That one wrote itself.  I was driving to work one day, and the whole scenario popped into my head fully formed, including turns of phrase and dialogue and the boys' first aid kit stashed in an old Army ammo box (of course, it would be, you know?).  I got to work and wrote it in about an hour.  Posted it about an hour after that.  Done.

"Holy crap, that's wrong, even for you" story
Oh god.  It's coming.  Technically posted after the first of the year, but mainly written in 2011.  Maybe posted tomorrow or the next day, depending on when it gets back from beta.  Dirty, filthy porn, and that's all I'll say about it for now.

Most eye roll-worthy title
Blow Me, Sam.  I wasn't going to claim it from blindfold, then figured why the hell not.  The title still makes me snicker.

Most intentionally telling
Another repeat:  Better than Moonshine.  I sat down to write my 2011 bigbang, having written the best story I'd ever written in my life the year before (A Handful of Rain), and I knew I just couldn't pull something like that off again--I still haven't, doubt that I ever will.  I was bouncing around and waffling on possible plots and flawlessglitch was telling me that I could do it again (she later turned into Misha in that story and I love her for it), and tryfanstone was telling me to go to a bar and just fucking write down what I saw (which inspired the first several scenes), and boom, before I knew it I was turning into the character of Jensen.  This story is 34k of me making fun of myself.  Well, that, and sex. 

Again, Better than Moonshine.  The ending, specifically, and the answer to this question probably makes no sense to anyone but me.

Most overdue
Let's not even think about this, okay?  I have a folder on my harddrive, hundreds of thousands of words big, optimistically titled 'Lost Causes.'  Some of the stuff is even mostly written.  Ugh.

This year's theme and the story that demonstrates it most:
I think I have this thing for characters who are outwardly confident, surefooted and almost cocky according to the outside world, but then you get them inside their own head and they sorta aren't so much. Just look at the protagonists in just about every story I posted this year.  Now, lets talk about unintentionally telling...

Favorite Opening Line(s):

A young boy looks up at Sam, pointing in the way that small children do, hand open, like a greeting.

“You never know. He could be living some sort of kinky double life or something.” 

They were eleven years old when they became blood brothers. It had been Jensen’s idea. One day he’d shown up on Jared’s doorstep, a solemn expression on his young face and a penknife he’d stolen from his dad buried in his back pocket.

Favorite Closing Line(s):

“Make sure you take the long way home.”
--Better than Moonshine

“Still wish you’d gone to Vegas?”

“Not even a little.”
--Six Hundred to Graceland

“You wanted me to look at you? Jesus, don’t you see? I can barely look away.”

Jared’s smile is small, tempered with something close to sadness. He presses a thumb to Jensen’s lower lip. The touch is so familiar, and it’s not until it happens that Jensen realizes he’s been waiting for it.**

“Are we starting this again?” Jensen asks.

“It never stopped. I don’t think it’s ever going to.”
--Come Pick Me Up

Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the New Year?
Nothing specific, no.  Never really do.  I'm working on a couple of little projects, insmallpackages for one, and a couple of gifts, as well as an exchange I have going with radiophile that I'm so very excited about (prohibition!fic, rumrunning!  souped up cars! Jensen in pinstripes and Jared in suspenders!  mountain hollows and moonshine!)  Generally I'd like to sign on for fewer challenges this year, and wlll most likely end up eating crow on that one.  I found myself writing a lot to deadlines recently.  Not knocking it--it obviously did the trick, since my final word count is at least double what I normally put out and I'm basically happy with what I've written.  A lot of that has to do with you guys, though.  Thanks for hanging out, I've had a blast.  And jesus, this took a long time to post.

**for those interested, that's the part of the story that did me in.  I'm such a goddamn sap sometimes.

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