an agent of the random (riyku) wrote,
an agent of the random

fic: Song and Dance

Dude, all my coding disappeared. Four times.  Sorry for any posting errors. 

Title: Song and Dance
Rating: NC-17
Words: 3100
Summary: In which Jared has an unusual job, and Jensen is his somewhat befuddled and rather besotted roommate.
Note: Endless thanks to lily, who knows exactly where and why and how often.  Written for transfixeddream’s prompt: business attire over at salt_burn_porn

Edited: celtic_forest has recorded podfic of this. Sound effects and everything and it's absolutely wonderful!

On paper, Jared seemed like the perfect roommate.  He had decent credit, went to school part-time and had worked at the same job for almost three years.  His references described him as laid back, neat, generally quiet, and an all around great guy who always paid his rent on time. 
One thing that a couple of quick phone calls, a credit report and a roommate application didn’t tell Jensen was that Jared was a six and a half foot tall, expertly constructed brick house of a man.  He had broad shoulders and a wide, dimpled grin, legs that went straight up to heaven and a habit of chewing on his bottom lip in a way that made Jensen want to crawl right into his lap and do it for him.
“So.”  Jensen cleared his throat and forced his attention to the task at hand, which was interviewing Jared as a potential roommate.  It was all smoke and mirrors at this point anyway.  Jensen was smart enough to know when he’d hit a jackpot.  “It says here that you’re a courier?”
Jared sat across from Jensen, sprawled comfortably in Jensen’s wide leather chair.  He shrugged.  “Yeah.  For the last few years now.  I work downtown, mainly.  It pays the bills.”
“There’s a shed in the back.  I can move some stuff around and get a new padlock for it.  You can keep your bike in there,” Jensen suggested.  “If you end up moving in,” he hastily added.
“Thanks,” Jared said, “but I don’t have a bike.”
“Oh,” Jensen stammered.  “I thought…never mind.”
Jensen led Jared to the door once the interview was over, and said goodbye with a pat on his back and a handshake.  Letting go of Jared’s hand was almost impossible, when all Jensen really wanted to do was toss him a condom and a bottle of lube and tell him to just have at it.
It was an act of herculean restraint that allowed Jensen to wait a full twenty-four hours before calling Jared and offering him half of his house.
Jared moved in three days later, his meager possessions piled in the back of a buddy’s pick-up truck.  Jensen helped him unload his bed and some boxes, not thinking too much about the fact that five of them were labeled ‘work’ in bold black permanent marker.  It had to have something to do with Jared’s coursework, Jensen thought.  
They polished off the day with pizza and a six-pack, figuring out work schedules, school schedules and shower schedules.   Jensen learned that Jared hated reality television in all its incarnations, and that was good.  He learned that Jared loved Sons of Anarchy, and that was even better.   
He also might have fallen a little bit in love with Jared’s laugh, a full-body, low and throaty sound that made Jensen’s collar feel too tight and made it hard to draw a deep breath.  But no one needed to know about that.
Jensen stood looking out of the living room window, scratching absently at his stomach through his ancient, faded UT t-shirt and slowly nursing his first cup of coffee.  He heard the thump of Jared’s footsteps coming down the stairs, and turned to greet him, only to find himself thrust into a state of mute shock.
From the neck down, Jared was clothed in a suit made of artificial fur, dyed a bright, eye-wrenching purple.  He had a gorilla mask tucked beneath one arm and a surprised expression on his face.  
Maybe it was a kinky thing.  Jensen hoped to hell that it wasn’t.
“I. Uh.”  Running a hand through his hair, Jared gave him a sheepish smile.  “I’m on my way to work.  Thought you were still asleep.”  
“I think I might be?” Jensen said.  “Otherwise, this is a mighty interesting choice of business attire.” 
Jared fished a set of keys out of some hidden pocket in the costume, and for some reason, that simple action made the whole scene that much more surreal.  “Remember how I said I was a courier?"
“Okay,” Jensen said cautiously. 
“I’m more like a messenger.  I deliver telegrams.”
“Telegrams,” Jensen repeated.  “What?  Like singing telegrams?"
Jared set his jaw, and his shoulders took on a rigid, defensive shape, the effect lessened dramatically by the abundance of purple fur.  “It’s a good job.  Steady.  The tips are great,” he explained.
“Can you even sing?” Jensen struggled to keep a straight face. 
“Not very well, no.  I kinda think that’s the whole point.”
It was amazing the things a person could get used to.  Over the next few weeks, Jensen grew accustomed to seeing Jared in all sorts of get-ups.  The purple gorilla made several more appearances, as did an orange haired clown, and once, the Grim Reaper himself.  Walking into the kitchen one sunny morning and seeing Jared dressed as a bright yellow banana shoveling cereal into his mouth was particularly jarring, and sent Jensen fleeing toward the safety of his bedroom, biting on the inside of his cheek to stem his laughter.  All in all though, they made it work. 
Jensen wasn’t sure which was worse:  trying to have a serious conversation about grocery shopping with a ten foot tall adult man dressed as a leprechaun, or running into that same guy in the hallway in the middle of the night when he was fresh from the shower, dressed only in boxers with his wet hair slicked back, curling around his ears and dripping on his bare shoulders.  
Jensen was staring listlessly into the fridge when he heard the front door open.  He nabbed a bottle of Sam Adams, popped the cap on the bottle opener on the refrigerator door and leaned against the counter, wondering if he was going to be faced with the Grim Reaper again this evening.
Muttering, Jared stomped into the kitchen, already toeing off his boots and tossing his keys onto the table. 
Jensen almost choked on his beer, his skin suddenly too tight and his pulse jackhammering in his ears.    
“Long fucking day,” Jared began.  “I was late to school, then Chris called out from work and I had to make his run for him.”  Holding his arms away from his body, Jared made a disgusted noise and shook his head.  “I look ridiculous.”
Jensen couldn’t disagree more.  Jared was dressed as a cop, his dark blue shirt setting off the size and shape of his shoulders.  An equipment belt hung low and angled on his narrow waist, complete with a set of chintzy toy handcuffs and a plastic gun in its holster, and his pants clung to his hips and thighs in a way that was just this side of obscene. 
Jensen swallowed hard past the dryness in his throat and tried to look Jared in the eye.  It wasn’t easy.  “You don’t look so bad.” 
The equipment belt was next to hit the table, and then Jared started working at the buttons of his shirt, exposing a snug white undershirt beneath.  “I haven’t been able to get a deep breath for three hours at least.  This outfit is ten sizes too small.”  He unhooked the button on his pants and Jensen almost jumped him right then and there.
“Again, not really a bad thing,” Jensen noted instead, wondering exactly when his libido had taken over his vocal chords. 
Jared eyed him, chewing on the corner of his lip for a second and finishing off with a small smirk that was sexy as hell and told Jensen that Jared knew exactly the sort of effect he was having on him.  “Can I get one of those off you?” he asked, pointing at Jensen’s beer. 
Jensen bent into the fridge, and by the time he straightened up Jared had closed in on him, an almost predatory light in his eyes as he cornered Jensen against the counter.  “So,” Jared said leaning in closer, “a cop kink, huh?”  
“Sure beats the teddy bear outfit.” 
“You’re probably on to something there.” Jared took the beer out of Jensen’s hand and set it on the counter beside his hip.  His long fingers circled Jensen’s wrists and he drew Jensen’s arms up and around his neck.  Jensen slid his hand along the back of Jared’s neck.  His skin was hot and soft, and Jared’s long hair brushed against his knuckles.  
“Is it the gun?” Jared asked.  “Or maybe it’s the handcuffs?” 
Jensen shook his head, setting his teeth in his bottom lip when Jared slotted his thigh between Jensen’s and shifted into him.  Jensen wasn’t entirely hard yet, but he was getting there fast.  “The handcuffs are a nice touch, but mainly I think it’s you.”  Jensen pulled Jared down and kissed him. 
Jared didn’t waste any time, opening up and licking into Jensen’s mouth, sliding his tongue along Jensen’s in a kiss that was sloppy, wet and hot and exactly the way Jensen wanted it.  Jensen took Jared’s face in his hands, thumbed along his jaw and angled his head just so, running his tongue along the slick, hard surface of Jared’s teeth. 
The counter bit into the small of Jensen’s back when Jared rocked into him, tugging and pushing all at the same time.  Jared broke the kiss.  “Fuck, you taste good.”  A flush was riding high on his cheeks and his eyes were heavy-lidded and dark.  He tore Jensen’s shirt over his head, his gaze scouring across Jensen’s chest and making him want to squirm. 
Jensen repaid the favor, letting Jared’s shirt fall to the floor at their feet.  A small pool of sweat shined in the hollow of Jared’s throat and Jensen licked at it, rolling the salty taste around his mouth as his hands wandered to the hard ridge of Jared’s cock.  Dropping to his knees, Jensen mouthed at the front of Jared’s pants, his tongue leaving a wet trail.  Jared’s breath hissed through his teeth and his hips rolled forward, knees locking as he gripped the counter for balance. 
Jared wasn’t lying when he’d said his pants were too tight, and Jensen couldn’t help but chuckle when he fought with the zipper.  A relieved moan spilled from Jared when Jensen pulled his pants and his shorts past his hips and freed his dick. 
Damn, the man was huge everywhere.  His dick was flushed and rock hard, smooth and long, precome beading at the tip.  Jensen snaked his tongue out and had barely tasted it before Jared was yanking him to his feet. 
Jared kissed him breathless, all teeth and tongue.  “I wanna—“ he broke off with a moan when Jensen reached between them and jacked him once, slowly from root to tip.  “I wanna lay you out.” 
Jensen was pretty sure he’d never heard a better plan in his life and hooked his fingers around Jared’s wrist to lead him toward his room.  Jared crowded in close on the way up the stairs, his hand spread wide, low and possessive on Jensen’s stomach as his mouth worked small miracles on the back of Jensen’s neck. 
The way that Jared had to almost peel his pants off would have been comical, except that Jensen could barely breathe at the sight of him.  Miles of smooth exposed skin, his back dotted with a few dark moles.  Jensen got snagged on the dip of his spine and the rounded curve of his ass, his fingers suddenly feeling stupid and too big as he fumbled with his belt and the fly of his jeans. 
Jared sat on the edge of the bed, his hand working in a lazy drag up and down his cock, and a wicked bend to his expression.  He racked his gaze along Jensen’s body, subconsciously licking his lips as it fell on Jensen’s dick.  “This might be a bad idea,” he said in a rough voice. 
Jensen considered it for less than a second.  He closed the space between them and urged Jared further up the bed.  “I don’t actually give a damn,” he said.  At this point, it would take a seven nation army to hold him back.  Hell, even that might not do the trick. 
“Thank god,” Jared breathed, his hands closing in around Jensen’s waist and manhandling him onto his back.  He kissed a path down Jensen’s body, tongue dipping into Jensen’s belly button.  The first touch of his mouth to Jensen’s dick made Jensen’s toes curl, his hips shooting up of their own volition.
Jared’s palms fit exactly right over Jensen’s hipbones, his tongue drew a wicked swirl around the head of his cock, and the slip and drag of his mouth along Jensen’s dick sent a shockwave through Jensen’s veins. 
Jensen was the first to admit that he’d spent a lot of time objectifying his new roommate over the last few weeks, standing in the shower until the water ran cold, his cock in his hand, two fingers sucked into his mouth with Jared’s image plastered to the back of his eyelids.  Even his most vivid fantasies couldn’t shine a light on the reality of it.  Not with the way Jared rolled his balls along his tongue or hitched Jensen’s legs up and apart, shoving them into Jensen’s chest and grabbing at Jensen’s ass, and definitely not when Jared trailed lower and licked at Jensen’s hole with broad, wet swipes of his tongue. 
Twisting and writhing, Jensen buried his head in his pillow, begging for lord knows what while he clawed at the mess of blankets and gritted his teeth against the delicious ache that was building up slow and steady.  
Jared crawled along his body, his chin shiny with spit.  His mouth found Jensen’s, kissing him slow and almost sweetly before moving on to Jensen’s jaw.  “Where do you keep it?” Jared whispered.  Jensen made a vague gesture toward his bedside table, anticipation ratcheting up the muscles in his stomach, making the air feel like he was breathing it in sideways. 
Jensen was already loose from Jared’s tongue, and Jared sank two slippery fingers into him easily, worked them in and out, his mouth worrying the skin on Jensen’s throat.  
It was almost torture, the steady slide of Jared’s fingers working him open, the feeling of Jared’s cock against his thigh as Jared rutted mindlessly against him, and the hot fall of Jared’s breath on his sweaty skin.  “Fuck, Jensen.  So hot.  Fucking tight,” Jared hissed, withdrawing his hand and giving Jensen’s cock a few quick tugs.  “You don’t know…”
“C’mon,” Jensen said, tossing the blankets around and finally finding the condom.  He rolled it down Jared’s length, entranced by the blush spreading across Jared’s chest and the stuttering shift of his hips when Jensen slicked him up. 
All of the air in Jensen’s lungs rushed out like a punch when Jared sank into him in one long, barely-controlled thrust.  Jared’s forearms framed Jensen’s head, and Jensen could feel the tremble in his thighs.  Jensen dug his heels into the back of Jared’s legs and rocked his hips up, just as Jared bottomed out with a satisfying slap of skin on skin. 
Jared moved his hips in an evilly slow grind, all shallow thrusts and small circles, the muscles in his back shifting beneath Jensen’s palms.  A heat spread up and down Jensen’s spine and he wrapped his thighs tightly around Jared’s hips.  He learned Jared’s rhythm, matched his movements, their chests slick with sweat and pressed together snug. 
With a hand tangled in Jared’s hair, Jensen pulled him down and kissed him deep and dirty, licking into his mouth and nipping at his lips, and finally just breathing into his mouth as Jared lost his rhythm, started making soft, needy sounds. 
A drawn out moan sounded from Jared’s chest, and he pulled out with a rush.  He sat back on his haunches, ripped the condom off and began jacking himself roughly.  A sheen of sweat covered his body, his hair fell into his eyes, and his mouth was soft and slack.  He loomed tall and sexy as anything above Jensen.  Jared rocked into his hand and came, spunk spilling hot on the skin of Jensen’s stomach and on the gentle curve of Jensen’s cock. 
Jensen took himself in hand.  Fuck, he just needed to get off, his nerves were alive and screaming with it.  Jared fell forward and took Jensen into his mouth, straightaway and right down to the root.  He sucked hard, cheeks hollowing out and his tongue a firm press along the underside.  Jensen let out a startled gasp when he felt Jared slide two fingers into his ass again, teasing the tender flesh.  It was too much.  All of it.  Jensen hit the back of his throat and came hard, back arching up from the bed and a curse grating out from behind his clenched teeth. 
Pulling Jared up with a light tug to his hair, Jensen licked at Jared’s lips, shivering at the taste of his own come.  Jared collapsed beside him, tucked his arm under Jensen’s neck and held him close. 
Jared was still breathing hard through his open mouth.  He looked at Jensen with a happy, sated grin, his tongue curling around his canine tooth before he spoke.  “Things just got a little complicated, didn’t they?” 
Laughing, Jensen his hid face in Jared’s shoulder for a second before answering.  “From where I’m standing, things have been complicated for a while now.”  

Jared kissed Jensen’s temple, and let his fingers lightly skim the skin of Jensen’s upper arm.  “You too, huh?  Good to know.” 

Tags: fic: j2, rated: nc-17
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