Warnings & Notes: infidelity like whoa, rimming. Not a lot of plot in this neck of the woods, and I was typing the end of this with both eyes closed. There are probably errors. Beg pardon. Written for the smpc
Word Count: 2,100
Summary: This will be the last time. This has to be the last time.
Jared knows who it’ll be before he opens the door. He isn't expecting him, but then again he's never not expecting him either. It’s one in the morning and Jared has leave for work in five hours, but he’s still up, wide awake. He’s got ten pages of dialogue to memorize and can’t seem to make it stick and besides, the house is too quiet. Nowadays, he’s used to more noise, more people.
Jensen busts through the door as soon as he unlocks it. Rain is coming down in sheets in typical Vancouver fashion and he’s soaked through and through, hair flattened to his skull and his t-shirt as tight as a second skin. It’s not cold but his teeth are chattering slightly, and his mouth looks bitten and raw, like he’s been chewing on it too much and Jared knows what that means. He understands exactly what that means.
“Are you alone?” Jensen asks, although the answer is clear. Only one car is parked in the driveway and the place is lit up like a power plant, but still. Better safe.
Before Jared is half-way through a nod, Jensen sinks to his knees, anchors his hands on Jared’s hips, nuzzles against his crotch and breathes in deep. His jeans cling tight and wet to his widespread thighs and he’s dripping all over the floor, and he hasn’t even bothered to say hello yet but that’s okay. That’s just fine because he’s yanking Jared’s flannel pants down, bunching them up around his knees. Three slow, pulling sucks and Jared’s hard, Jensen’s lips a wet, tight seal around his cock. His head is spinning and he trips backward until his shoulders hit the wall. He lets it bear the brunt of his weight and angles his hips outward, toes curling against the floor.
Jensen groans as Jared touches his throat so that he can feel it work around his cock from the inside and out, then grows very still when Jared hitches his hips in a few testing, shallow thrusts. Sometimes Jensen can’t take it, winds up choking and sputtering if it’s been too long or if Jared tries to go too far too quickly. Tonight Jensen’s good for it, his jaw relaxing around the width of Jared’s dick, his tongue flat on the underside of it. He takes Jared down deep, his soft pink lips stretched around him exactly right as Jared fucks his mouth sloppy, fucks his mouth until Jensen’s chin is slick with spit, until his lips are swollen and the pink has darkened to red. Every so often Jared pulls all the way out, denies himself the hot, wet sensation of Jensen’s mouth for several torturous seconds at a time, just for the shivery relief he gets when he slides back in again.
“Fuck, I missed you. So much,” Jared says and runs his fingers through Jensen’s wet hair until it’s standing up, all cowlicks and corkscrews. “Did you miss me?”
It’s an understood affirmation as Jensen hums around his cock, one that Jared feels in his fingertips, from the crown of his skull straight down to his toes. They’d spent all day and half the night together, had only been apart for a few hours, but Jensen gets it. It’s the best and worst thing about all of this. Jensen always gets it in a way that no one else ever will.
Usually Jared likes to hold off for as long as he can, push himself to the edge of orgasm then squeeze down on the base of his cock, slow it down and draw it out, anything at all to get a few more seconds of this, the incredible slickness of the roof of Jensen’s mouth and the constant pressure of his tongue. But he knows that Jensen’s got to be dying down there, cut in half with his cock trapped in tight wet denim. He pulls out again, lets Jensen worm his tongue against his slit as he jerks himself off fast and hard, rubs the tip of his cock all over Jensen’s mouth when he comes, his spunk mixing with Jensen’s spit and dripping down his chin.
Jensen stands and kisses Jared immediately, open-mouthed and searingly hot. He knows Jared so very well, better than anybody, knows everything from the mundane to the extraordinary. He knows Jared’s shoe size and the way he likes his coffee, he knows every single childhood trauma and all of his favorite books. And he knows that Jared gets off on the taste of himself in Jensen’s mouth, likes to suck on Jensen’s tongue until all traces of it have been licked clean.
“Hi,” Jensen says finally. He’s catching his breath still, but if anything, the flush on his face is deepening, creeping down his throat and spreading to the tips of his ears. He rocks against Jared’s hip, lets Jared feel the obvious bulge of his cock, but there’s nothing urgent about it. Nothing rushed now that they’ve taken the edge off. It’s merely Jensen’s little way of telling him that this is far from over. “Sorry about your floor.”
With a chuckle, Jared says, “Hey.” He lets his pants slip the rest of the way off, steps out of them, then slings his arms loosely around Jensen’s neck and presses his lips to his temple. Keeps them there and speaks against Jensen’s skin. “You smell like damp dog.”
“It’s my new cologne.”
Jared chuckles again. After all this time. After all these years and all this time, Jensen still makes him laugh. There’s something to be said for that. There’s a whole hell of a lot that can be said for that.
“LA?” Jared asks.
“Texas,” Jensen says with a shake of his head.
“Me too, until Saturday.”
They talk around it. It’s easier that way. They always talk in code, just like Jensen is always the one to come to him and never the other way around. Jared had been the one to end it, the one to grow up first, although it hadn’t actually been an end. It had been more of an ellipsis, a to be continued. So Jensen comes to him. He has to be the one who makes the choice. It’s their strange, backward way of somehow making things fair.
He peels Jensen’s shirt off and lets it fall to the floor with a soaked slap. Jensen’s damp skin gathers in goosebumps and his nipples harden into little peaks in the cool air. Jared rubs his thumbs across one then the other, dives down and teases one between his teeth. Jensen squirms, tries to turn away then gives in as Jared forces them to switch places, traps him against the wall and pins both of his arms above his head.
Jared could do this for days if only he had them to spare. He’s done it for hours before, a lifetime ago, when they’d blown through an entire weekend without leaving the house and hardly leaving the bed. Jared had devoted much of that time to figuring out all the interesting and inventive ways he could make Jensen come without laying a hand on his dick. Turns out there are a lot.
“I’ve gotta get these pants off soon, or you’re gonna have to cut them off,” Jensen tells him, talking through his clenched jaw.
Jared tries to help him, and it turns into a tangle of fingers before Jensen’s belt finally hits the ground, gets kicked across the hallway along with Jensen’s jeans. Jensen draws Jared in close, his cock heated and nudging against Jared’s thigh, and walks him backward to his bedroom.
The bed is still unmade from this morning, and Jensen topples Jared onto it, looms tall above him.
“The lube’s in my ski jacket,” Jared tells him. “Left zipper pocket.” There are some things that need to stay hidden, that he isn’t able to easily explain away.
“Don’t know that we’ll need it,” Jensen says and shoves Jared’s knees toward his chest.
Jared gets a thrill. His stomach drops and his heartbeat starts to bang in his ears and Jensen’s half on and half off the bed, palms spread wide on the backs of his thighs. He nips at Jared’s skin. Nothing much, nothing that will leave any marks or raise any eyebrows, just enough to let Jared feel his teeth. He turns his attention to the inside of Jared’s thighs next, scrapes his jaw against Jared’s skin and makes it grow hot and sensitive from the scratch of his stubble. Right before Jared’s about to start squirming with anticipation, he spits on Jared’s rim, moves his tongue in slow rings around it and now Jared's squirming for another reason entirely. He spreads the cheeks of Jared’s ass apart, thumbs pressing against Jared’s hole, urging him open until he can lick inside. It’s slick, hot and filthy and Jared has to ball his fists into the mess of sheets, concentrate on not bucking up.
It’s been months, or weeks at least since Jensen’s fucked him, and even this little bit of stretch burns some, makes him hiss in a deep breath and hold it. Jensen knows his limits, seems to have a surefire insight as to exactly how much Jared can take, slows down and soothes Jared’s raw flesh, soaks it with lapping strokes of his tongue every time it gets to be too much then dials it up again. One finger then two until Jared’s legs are trembling and he’s a wreck, begging for Jensen’s cock, wanting to be full.
Jensen wipes his chin with the back of his hand, licks his palm and jerks himself a few times, slicks himself with spit and precome. It’s no substitute for lube, but Jared’s miles and miles past caring, wants more than anything to get Jensen inside of him, and grapples at Jensen’s shoulders to yank him up.
It burns when Jensen pushes in, stings with the stretch. It’s a good burn though, all that heat radiating from the spot where they are joined. A line has formed between Jensen’s brows and his eyes are clamped down tight, a look of concentration on his face as he overrides instinct and forces himself to sink slowly into Jared, inch by inch. He shifts, cants his hips in a very specific way and sparks light up all over Jared’s skin, cause him to wrap his legs around Jensen’s hips and dig his heels into the backs of Jensen’s thighs.
“There we are,” Jensen says, and damn if the boy doesn’t sound smug, little self satisfied smirk that melts into relief as he shifts his hips slowly until he’s found Jared’s sweet spot again.
“Goddamn,” Jared groans as another wave zips through him. “How do you…fuck.”
“I know you,” Jensen says, simple as that. “Probably better than I know myself.” He hooks his hands around Jared’s shoulders and rolls his hips again, with more force this time and the ache Jared had been feeling dissolves. Jared throws his head back, spine arching as he tries to draw Jensen further inside, take him in all the way and then some.
Jensen understands, gets the point, pulls out almost all the way and slams back in again, over and over, huge thrusts that force Jared further and further up along the bed until he’s up against the headboard. He keeps pausing for long periods of time to kiss Jared, lick his lips and slide their tongues together, as if he’s too wrapped up in Jared’s mouth to do anything else, and Jared gets that too.
His thrusts start to falter, so far gone that he can only gasp through his slack lips and breathe against Jared’s mouth. Jared bears down on Jensen’s cock, holds him tightly and doesn’t let him go, rides out every stuttering jab of Jensen’s hips as he comes, sloppy and slick and perfect in every single way.
It’s Jensen’s turn to kiss Jared on the temple and try and smooth back the tangled mess of his hair, tuck it behind his ears as if that will make any difference, be of any help at all.
“Never again,” Jensen says. His voice is rusty and he sounds so resigned. Not quite broken but getting there. Riddled with cracks.
“Alright,” Jared breathes. He pushes Jensen to his side, sucks two fingers into his mouth to get them good and wet and slides them along the crack of Jensen’s ass. The punched-out sound of Jensen’s moan when he sinks them inside is enough to make Jared’s cock twitch, start to grow thick all over again.
“This is it. It has to be,” Jensen says, but the way he’s starting to squirm and push against Jared’s hand makes a liar out of him.
“Yeah, I know. That’s what you said last time.”